I totally understand.
In fact, I went through the same experience. Throughout my life I've had
several pets, and about 5 years ago I went through a similar period in
my life. I simply was afraid that the hurt would become too much when my
new pet would die (even after a full and long life).
And yes, it did happen again when about 2 years ago one of my most
beloved piggies died after a long time of taking care of it. Still, my
wife and I went to the shelter the next day (still in tears over the
loss) to find a new companion the the pig that was left behind.
Take that vacation - it will do you good!
Michel >> Stay informed about: RIP Beer